Healing the Sisterhood Wound

The long term studies on happiness tell us that one of the most important factors to our well-being is community and connection. Friendship is one of the highest forms of intimacy, since our friends are the people we choose.

But often women are afraid of pursuing friendship with other women.

Why? 40% of movies fail the "Bechdel Test" - the only requirement is to have two women talk to each other about something other than a man. A lot of media shows women and girls being "catty" to one another. And we all have had a bad experience or two with female meanness in middle school.

But what if our fears are keeping us from some of the richest, most fulfilling relationships? Even happiness itself?

Nevermind in a social media-drenched, post-pandemic world -

 a lot of us struggle with how to make friendships at all in adulthood.

Here are my top three tips for making fierce female friendships:

1) Go to a workshop or a course. Invite an intriguing woman to tea or a walk.

2) Turn jealousy upside down. Instead of feeling negative about another woman's success, beauty, art - whatever - can you frame it in terms of an inspiration or an appreciation?

3) Work on laughing at your own flaws. Life feels like less of a hostile place when we can accept that none of us really know what we are doing and so we might as well giggle at the silly things our character does. ( I recently realized I was insane for mopping the floors everyday. Laughing about it helped me not take my perfectionism seriously, and now I can ignore the crumbs on my floor.)

Women of all ages are our greatest potential allies and cheerleaders. Creating connections with them will add to the happiness in our years and actually increases our longevity!

So invite an awesome woman for tea or a walk this week - I dare you!